Saturday, December 30 ~ Ojai, California
Another thought as I prepare myself for a new year and new vibration. The thought comes to me in the form of a song lyric from the 1983 movie musical Yentl, and it's in my head each time I wake up in a night filled with wakefulness.
It's in my head now.
With all there is
Why settle for
Just a piece of sky?
Too often in my life I have settled -- for less than I desire, for less than I deserve, for less than I believe I can afford....for less than the infinite possibility and potential waiting to realize through me.
Like Yentl, I won't do it any more.
If I have a New Year's resolution for 2007, it's expressed through that song:
I step into 2007, claiming and realizing more of my essential self, more of my creative power and more of the infinite resources always availlable to me...without settling for a just a piece of sky.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
Friday, December 29 ~ Ojai, California
The sun glows golden on the mountains that rise up behind this sanctuary-like community nestled in a valley north of Los Angeles.
Another day is burning away on the light of the setting sun. Another year, too, as 2006 makes way for 2007.
In that cusp-like period between one year and the next, I have landed -- here in Ojai (pronounced OH'high).
Given my life over the past two years, I'm not sure what "landing" means, other than to say that I'm here for six weeks -- the minimum commitment I've made for the hilltop house I've sublet.
Why Ojai? Why now?
A month ago in L.A., a friend me asked to identify my passion.
"Well," I responded with quintessentially Libra equivocation, "I love to do sacred sound, to inspire people. I love to draw, to connect with the earth--"
"No," he interjected with no-BS Scorpio incisiveness, "what's your passion? What do you claim?"
After a moment's tuned-in inner silence, the answer was unequivocal: getting my novel, The MoonQuest published, filmed and out in the world and completing the trilogy of which it is the first part.
While I wasn't surprised by the content of my sudden clarity and certainty (particularly as, days earlier, The MoonQuest had placed third in the New Mexico Discovery Competition for unpublished fiction), I was surprised by how much this desire edged out all the others -- particularly as it hadn't been fully conscious only moments before.
Don't get me wrong. I love all the other things I do, including the sound, the newsletters and the groups, teleconferences and private sessions. And I'll continue to do them as the call arises.
But that exercise in clarity made it inarguably clear where my primary focus must lie as I slip into 2007: writing.
And that, in part, is how I find myself in Ojai. Or, rather, how Ojai and this house drew me to them.
In the 1964 Disney film of Mary Poppins, the two children, Jane and Michael, take it upon themselves to write an ad for a new nanny. The ad lists (and thus claims) all the pleasing qualities they would seek in a nanny. Although their father rejects the ad and throws it into the fire, its energy travels up the chimney and into the ethers, where it finds Mary Poppins, the perfect expression of Jane and Michael's desire.
A few weeks ago I also made a list, one that I'd forgotten about until moments ago, when it fell out of my notebook. Like Jane and Michael's, it detailed my desire -- in my case, for the kind of accommodation that would best serve me and my creative endeavors at this time.
It shouldn't surprise me (but does) that pretty much everything on that list seems to be embodied by Ojai and this house. Nor should it surprise me (though it does) that I moved into this house nearly as speedily as Mary Poppins moved into Jane and Michael's (less than a week after I first replied to the online ad).
Perhaps two of the more bizarrely synchronistic expressions of the divine perfection in all this relate to the meaning of Ojai (moon -- remember my book's title?) and to the cat that comes with the house. Her unusual name is virtually identical to that of the main character in The MoonQuest's sequel. In fact, as soon as I heard the cat's name, I was sold. She's my Ojai Mews.
Now, nothing is ever as simple and one-dimensional as it appears. No doubt, regardless of my creative accomplishments while I'm here, my time in Ojai and in this house will have other, unimagined gifts to offer me -- all fruits, as well, of the passion and desire of my highest self.
And so in this moment, as this day and year melt away, I feel perfectly situated to sail into the new, aligned with the flow that only passion can activate.
To read The MoonQuest excerpt that was my winning entry in the New Mexico Discovery Competition, click here
Photos by Mark David Gerson: #1 Meditation Mount near Ojai; #2 My Ojai Mews