Sunday, April 06, 2008

Spring Thaw

Tuesday, April 1 ~ Albuquerque, New Mexico

I open my eyes as the sun crests the Sandia Mountains and know that, whatever else I do today, I must drive to the summit.

I don't know how I know it. I don't know why I have to do it. I only know that I must.

It's 3 p.m. before I leave the house, and as I drive down Tramway Boulevard to I-40, I wonder if I've waited too long. You see, it's been three years since the only other time I've driven to the top and I can't remember how long it takes to get over to the east side of the mountain and make the 5,000-foot climb.

In fact, all I remember about that February drive is that it was winter, the snow was thick and heavy on the roadside slopes, and the wind at the summit was so cold and bitter that all I could do was run out for a lightning-quick glimpse at the view from 10,000+ feet and dash back into the car.

Albuquerque was one of my earliest stops three years ago when I left Sedona in the wake of my marriage break-up. And my summit drive was one of the first things I did when I got here.

As I drive the winding road today, past the rocky bluffs and sentinal stands of pine, the first thing that strikes me is the lack of snow. "Of course," I say, "it's April. Most of the snow has melted."

And then I get it. On my first drive up here, I was as frozen as the landscape, numb from the pain of a broken relationship.

Today, the spring thaw is mine as well. No longer locked in the icy stasis of winter, my heart has melted into openness, its soil as soft, yielding and ready for new growth as the thousands of acres that surround me here.

The summit, too, is more welcoming than it was three years ago. And as I gaze east toward my origins and west toward what I sense awaits me next, I know that I'm readier to move forward than ever before, whatever that means -- in work, in love and in life.

Sandia photos by Mark David Gerson


motherwort said...

So beautiful, that summit, and so perfect a representation of climbing those daunting peaks of us (okay, why does that song from The Sound of Music keep playing in my head). It continues to amaze me how the outer world reflects our inner state, how our own bodies can mirror the major events in our life. I was so stuck in my life, I actually grew physically immobile and the slow return to walking from walker, to cane, to normal walking, hopefully to hiking again, has been a step by step, slow and steady progress requiring dedication and commitment and strength.

I look forward to reading about this new life, whatever it is.

Mark David Gerson said...

"I look forward to reading about this new life, whatever it is."

Me too!

Tessa said...

Nature is the best way to clear the energies and be close to the creative spirit and creator. It is even better to be able to see beyond that which is in front of you. The path and road ahead. Clarity! and seeing beyond is what I see in this blog. Good luck in what lies ahead.