Saturday, June 10, 2006

What's It All About, Alfie?

Thursday, June 8, 2006 ~ Palm Desert, California

This song title floats through my mind as I check into a Best Western in this oasis community in the middle of the California Desert.

I thought I was driving to the Laguna area today to spend the weekend with a friend...until he phoned to tell me he'd just been called out of town.

Suddenly, Laguna's pull dissolved and I found myself in a Phoenix parking lot, the outside temperature a searing 110 degrees, with no idea what to do or where to go.

In the end, I felt drawn to Palm Desert...so here I am...wondering what it is all about.

Sudden, whiplash-inducing shifts have been occurring with disquieting frequency in recent weeks. This one is only the latest in an increasingly uncomfortable sequence of seemingly fickle guidance.

Frankly, it's been crazy-making, a test of faith that I haven't always passed with stellar grades.

It's altogether natural for me to want to know why I'm still on the road, what purpose it serves...when I get to stop.

It's human nature, a function of the way the mind is wired, to crave understanding. We long to know the consequences, the results, the rewards.

If I do this, will my book finally be published? My movie get made? Will I find a place to settle? Am I still doing energy work on the land as I travel? Why was I called here?

In the past, having answers to questions such as these has boosted my courage and propped up my willingness to stay on the road.

Yet I realize now, admittedly reluctantly, that that's an old paradigm.

If I'm truly following the lead of my higher consciousness and highest self, I don't need to know anything but that I'm following the lead of my higher consciousness and highest self.

"You either trust or you do not," insists M'nor, the moon, in my novel, The MoonQuest. "There is no halfway in between."

I believe nothing in the Universe is without meaning. I know too that I may never know any aspect of that meaning as it applies to events in my life and the consequences of my guidance. I may never be able to consciously associate a future reward with a past action.

Releasing my need to know is an act of profound surrender. I have lived that surrender in the past and am now being asked to go deeper...and deeper.

It's not comfortable. Relinquishing control never is.

Yet M'nor is right: I either trust or I do not.

Today, in this moment, I choose to trust. I choose the surrender that releases me from needing to know anything beyond the fact that I was drawn to Palm Desert.

Tomorrow will have to take care of itself.

4 comments:

JPS said...

Hi Mark,

A friend of yours, Joan Ciero, told me about your blog and I've been reading it for several months. It's been of great help to me since I seem to be experience the same things that you are at the same time -- not suprising since we are all ONE. I love the eloquence of your heart-felt comments.

Thank you for being a "way show-er" and for putting words to my experiences.

I bid you peace, love and joy on your journey to your own heart and to the hearts of all people, places and things.

Namaste

Angel-Light Love said...

Greetings Mark. I just want to let you know once again how much identify with your path and how beneficial your reflections are to me, known as a "Traveling Angel" (although I must say my travels are quite limited compared to yours). You have the key, it's about SURRENDER to one's Divine Spirit, to one's higher will, and TRUSTING in Divine Spirit to meet one's needs as one seeks to remain true to soul's purpose. No matter what one's souls goals for this life, SURRENDER and TRUST hold the "magic" in living in this world. Loving your soul, I Am Angel-Light. I Am That I Am. angellightlove2@yahoo.com

Mark David Gerson said...

Dear Joanne,

Thanks for writing and sharing your heart. It still amazes me that even though our surface experiences differ, so many of us are living through identical shifts in these times. I'm gratified that mine assist you with yours.

Blessings,
Mark David

Mark David Gerson said...

Dear Angel-Light,

The thing about surrender is that it's a moving target. Just when we think we've got it, the stakes get higher and we're pushed to deeper and deeper levels.

Blessings to you on your travels,
Mark David