Unlimited Expansion

Friday, January 19 ~ Oxnard, California

I'm in Fry's Electronics, standing in front of a brand-new 17" MacBook Pro laptop computer. And it's making me uncomfortable.

Let me explain.

I've known since before the holidays that, come January, it would be time to upgrade my computer, whose hard drive is so jam-packed it's hard to wedge in anything new.

On Wednesday, I finally made my way to the nearest Apple Store to explore my options. Although several laptop models could conceivably meet my needs, I have kept feeling drawn to the top-of-the-line model with its large screen and capacious hard drive.

Probably something to do with the New Year's Resolution not to settle that I described in my December 30 post.

But as I start to play with the floor models, I'm stunned. The extra-high-resolution screen shinks text to lilliputian proportions, at least compared to what I'm used to.

Immediately, I start to second-guess my knowingness. When I finally leave the store, I'm profoundly confused.

Yesterday, I visited the Apple section of CompUSA and left equally indecisive.

Now I'm at Fry's, scurrying back and forth between the 15" and 17" models, which, inconveniently, are not side-by-side.

To my surprise, I'm noticing that the high resolution compensates for type that no longer seems quite so tiny. It's like with eyeglasses, I realize: the stronger the prescription (when you're nearsighted), the smaller (yet clearer) everything appears.

Okay. Now I'm focused on the 17" again.

I'm suddenly aware of all this space that's available on a screen that's nearly 18% bigger than the one I now have.

Do I need all that extra space? Is the computer just too big?

And then, like one of those mythical thunderbolts crashing in on me from the heavens, I get it: My discomfort has nothing to do with an expanded computer screen and/or body. It has to do with an expanded Mark David.

Ouch.

What I'm resisting is my own expansion. The empty space is all my empty space, waiting to be filled with new and wonderful expressions of my divinity.

The song lyric from my December 30 post races through my head once again:

With all there is
Why settle for
Just a piece of sky?

Why, indeed?

Drawing by Mark David Gerson:
Unlimited Expansion to Meet Your God Potential (Sandia Mountains, Albuquerque, NM)