Saturday, March 18, 2006

Genesis



Saturday, March 18, 2006 ~ Santa Fe, New Mexico

I wake up this morning with an oddly disconcerting thought. What if all this guidance about writing my novel is nothing more than a make-work project to keep me out of my own way?

This is not to denigrate The StarQuest. Nor have I stopped working on it.

But consider this (I tell myself). Even as I have no clear idea of what to do next or where to live next (given that my agreed-upon time in this casita is drawing to an end), these truths are self-evident:

1) For the past two weeks, I've had little energy to do much other than sleep.
2) The only "work" I have felt called to do has involved writing.
3) My daughter arrives tomorrow for a week's stay, during which she will occupy 100% of my focus.

What if all these have been set in motion (including the timing of my daughter's visit) to guarantee that I make no plans, seek out no housing and relax into the beingness of waiting?

Interesting question, to which I have no more answer than to any of the other questions of recent times.

What I know is this: With more energy and without the call to write, I would have felt more of a pull to try to figure out what's next in my life. I certainly would have felt a need to call in a new housing situation.

I say none of this to minimize the importance of writing in my life. It has been the one constant in the midst of more than three decades of flux.

Yet it's an interesting question. And it reminds me that, at the human level, I am largely blind to the greater forces of divinity at play in my life. Even the human imagination, as wondrous as it is, has limits that my divine pilot willfully ignores.

More times than I can enumerate, my life has looked one way in one moment only to be irrevocably transformed in the next - in ways I could never have planned, plotted or imagined.

The evening I met my ex-wife was one of the those. The moment my daughter was born was another. The day my marriage ended, yet another.

Of these, only my daughter's birth was expected. Yet its impact on my life could never have been figured out by a mind bound by the limits of its imagination.

In this moment, I have no plans to suspend work on my book. I also have no plans to make plans.

Over the past several days, I have created two new drawings (pictured above) - one of St. Francis Cathedral here in Santa Fe and one of Round Mountain in southern New Mexico. If you're familiar with my art prints, you know that once completed, they speak to me of their energetic qualities. (These are vibrational attributes that can assist with healing in much the same way that crystals can).

It's no coincidence that the first drawing works with things like unlimited faith and trust in the unknown, while the second helps with unconditional commitment to your path and surrender to higher power.

These are clearly energies that I can use some help with as I allow the forces of the invisible to work their magic.

In my book The Voice of the Muse: Answering the Call to Write, I write about the miracle of the seed. The seed germinates and begins its growth underground, in a place protected from our prying eyes and hands. In its time, not ours, the tender shoot pokes above the surface, ready to continue its journey in the realm of the visible.

We pass through similar phases throughout our life. At such times, a seed of our mastery lies beneath the level of conscious awareness, the only place it can begin its journey untouched by our human fears, conditioning and perceived limitations.

While the seedling we have planted is still underground, all we can do is provide the light, water and fertilizer it needs - in unconditional faith and commitment.

Today, many of us are nurturing a similar seedling within our souls.

I know I am.

Even in my frustration and fear, even through my consternation and concern, all I can do is provide it the sustenance it needs to mature into a physical expression of my divinity.

All I can do is trust in the unknown and surrender.

Interestingly, the drawing of St. Francis Cathedral also works with expansion and illumination, while Round Mountain is an activation into spiritual leadership.

Ultimately, that's where our faith and commitment carry us. In the meantime, whatever we think we're doing, in truth we're watering a flower whose beauty and color are still in genesis.

In the beginning, the Bible says, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Whether I'm writing or sleeping, whether I'm worrying or wondering, the spirit of my divinity is engaged in the miracle of the creation of my life.

The best thing I can do is get out of the way.

Whether writing on The StarQuest is simply that or something more doesn't really matter. What matters is that I trust and allow the expansion, that I free myself to grow into the illumination.

God didn't force light and form onto the emptiness of the void. He allowed it. And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.

So it is for me. And so it is for you.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mark David,
Your email musings over the past several months have been invaluably helpful for me: your self questioning and explanations are teaching me new ways of perceiving my life and my mission as a lightworker, revisioning how to interpret internal and external phenomena and helping me to tune up my vibratory rate to higher and higher levels. I just came back from a trip to Tampa and Richmond where I attended 2 teacher job fairs and was gifted with numerous
excellent interview experiences and one definite job offering, with more waiting in the wings! I was able to surrender to all events on the trip, feeling fully loved, protected, worry-free, at peace, and blissful most of the time; I became consciously aware of the gridwork I was doing, so I could magnify the love energy I was sending out (Until you called it to my attention, I didn't even realize I was doing gridwork!!!);
when I had to take risks, I remembered the quote from Moonwalk
that your frequently mention: "Either you trust or you don't." I found that when I trusted completely and harbored no doubts or fear, I got out of my own way and allowed a positive outcome every single time! I did not feel lonely or scared but felt deeply loved every minute!!!!!! So please know that you are not just writing to keep yourself busy and as a procrastination tool: your writings are vital teaching and healing tools for us, and these blogs remind us to surrender with full faith that we are are in fact nurturing the seed of our divinity 24/7 regardless of how it looks on the appearance level. Please keep writing and sharing, Mark David, because you are guiding us through the mysteries of the ascension experience, step by step!

Mark David Gerson said...

Thanks for the support, encouragement and validation.

Please forward these Chronicles to friends and encourage them to subscribe!

Blessings,
Mark David

Anonymous said...

I would like to thank the person who mentioned the whatsuponplanetearth website. At 3 a.m. two days ago I was inspired to check it out and was amazed at the validation I felt! I also got chills and saw it as some sort of "sign" that the picture of the author resembles myself on a "good hair day" (or was my vision playing tricks on me at 3 a.m.?) and we even have the same first name. As always I thank Mark David for sharing his journey, and the others for sharing comments. You have all been great sources of connection and validation.

Anonymous said...

HiMark:

Your journal has really been speaking to me and inspiring me. I agree whole-heartedly with anonymous who said, "your writings are vital teaching and healing tools for us."

I too am embarking on a writing project that I don't know where it will lead me, but feeling so clear that it is what I am do be about doing. I am even getting up the courage to offer two lectures about it soon and just letting it come through.

This does feel like an important time for gestating what is in highest light and intention and surrendering to the unknown as I am selling my business in Sedona and giving myself some time to just be,trust and let it unfold.

There may be then travel across the country.

I am in this period having long meditations and spending time toning away,just letting the vibrations come through.

I think for me it is about rediscovering enthusiasum and loving attunement and expression.

Thankyou for all you share so courageously and honestly.

Blessings of light and a dolphin leap of joy,

Joe

Mark David Gerson said...

Dear Joe,

Sometimes, courage is making the only possible choice.

I honor your courage, Joe, as you leap of the cliff of the known into the mysteries of your own becoming.

Blessings,
Mark David